A night of ponder;

You ever lay in the bed at niqht and caint sleep?
Just wonderinq why someone isnt layinq nxt to you?
or why you arent on the phone with the one you want?
im always doing that lol; its been on my mind alot
lately..and im finnallly settin aside the bullshxt
and takinq more responsiblities of my actions..
everyone says i love women which is true..what man dont?
but the fact that ppl dont realize is that Cam gets
frustrated with women. hmm ive had about 4 diff. girls
in about 8mnths thats a shame! i NEVERR jumped to these
many girls because usually its all about...

Looks; Money; Fame; or what you got!
i have my own shxt i dont need a woman for that...
i guess what im lookinq for is someone to fill
the empty space that I want. i caint stress it enuff
how angry i get about this..i would wake up and be
pissed! not that i dont have any girls i caint hit up
cuz my contact list hella longg lol but damnnn
do they REALLY love cam like they say they do??
or is it all games and fun?


What i really hate is when i see girls even my
good friends..get treated soo badd but threw
it all they stay! and i need someone like that
not to put up with my bullshxt cuz i wouldnt either
visa versa. but likee...damnn imma soon be 20!
and i wanna good relationship with a nice young
lady to be established..she dont have to have
the beyonce body and the tyra banks looks!
not all women are made to look or fit like that!

Its alll about the inner side! that glows..
Even tho im quit aware of my looks thats all
ppl judge me by..first thing comes out there mouth..
" Boy you sexy how many girls you pullin"

That seriously bothers me! bcuss im no player,
no goon/goblin. macker nore caker so wtf.
even tho it increase my confidence and yess make
me cocky lol at the end of the day....
my confidence and cockyness got me no where...
i dont wanna give up on love because i have
a feeling theres someone feeling the way i feel
or tired of shitty relationships..

Takinq it one day at a time with some ice cream lol.

Im soooo spoiled....=)

YOOOOO! its been 4EVERRR since i wanted
this mtfkn car! and im qettinq it sundayy
babyyy!! yess ohh yess the LEXUS ES 09'
that bxtch is ultra badd! me and my boo went to test
drive it today!! i had to skipp school for this ish
lol; Well if you want a car around this time is
the perfect time because of the economy and a car
isnt ppl first option anymore this is my babyyy!
but my charqer is for sale now! if you want one
get at me its only 1yr old. got it for my
qraduation present! its also on Ebay...

it comes with....

*all power windows; automatic
* 22's rims dubb's
* outside paint jobb; glitter black
* tinted windows
*4 door
* 35,000 miles
*infinity speakers


I WILL POST PIXXS TODAY!

But for now check my bby outt!!!

Sovereignty;

--uqhh; DAMN. im odee focused..
ive been too stressed out lately its too
many thinqs i wanna do, tryna do, and actually doinq.
hmm like i Model,Play sports, work-out, && attend school
like damn who do all this shxt so younqq?


It miqht not sound like alot of work but it iz.
Colleqe can be too complexxed and model ughh
is a pain errbody think its all posinq and walkin straiqht lol
but the travelinq!! im barely home anymore; always on a plane..
like damn im suppose to be enjoyinq this time especially in my life
and all i been doinq is work; like riqht after x-mas i had to
hurry on a fuckin plane..when i just wanted to spend time with
my fam i was ultraa pissed by that..and all my manager said was.
"Suck it up" WTF. somethinq to tell one of your head models smhh
i now understand what tyra said..."Model is work,,its more than
flashy liqhts and beautiful make-up its about brinqinq your inside
OUT. and staiqhnin your inner force!"

I approached my mom abt it last niqht and all
she could tell me is that its makinq me become a man
and grow and be independent like WTF i been that lolx
but then i caint complain bcuzz i qet paid 3X what sum
ppl my aqe qet in 2mnths! not braqqinq but thats bomb!
lol.

But honestly i feel like im overworkinq...
BUT I LOVE IT! i need pressure i need someone to stay
on topp of my ass. Im thinkinq abt chanqinq my major now..
maybe like some advertisements or photography???
idkk my head is up in the air. dont wanna gone astray
of what i really qoinq to colleqe for.. but like shxt
i been modelinq, and studyinq fashion ALL my lifee..
kinda wanna do somethinq diverse && enterprising!

I want to qo to New York for a while cuz of the
prospect of many thinqs..idk Cali iz cool but
still idk?? i found some ppl who can help me
proqress but damn only soo much they can help me with
by me not havinq the deqree it takes to be on the
level i want to be...

I think imma have to take ah step back and just
let thinqs work out on there own && just pray?
cuz this shxt is stressful lol its like NOT
havinq any food for several dayzz =/ [random] lol.

Empowered;

Mannnnnnnn; ive seen alot today that made me
realize how blessed i am! Okayy so me and my
friend josh was ridinq in my car jusx chillin...

And we saw these two homeless ppl that was on
the side of the road and they only had a pair of..
paints on they was sooo dirty it was a shame
And many ppl would just ride by them and wouldnt
even speak so me and josh was lookin like WTF?

How can all these ppl see these homeless ppl need
help and disregard them? So me beinq the GOOD
person that i am we pulled over and qave the two
younq men $15.00 a piece to qet their qrubb on! lolx
and guess what? We even qot them to sit by some hotties!
lmaoo; at mtfkn burqer kinq hell yeahh mane! they loved it

Overall i felt blessed that i can be able to qive instead of to beqq.
i often take what i have in life for qranted wishinq i wouldnt
but now its like WOW im really spoiled lol not somethinq i should
continue to subsist! But it made me realize that we should always
work hardd in EVERYTHING we do instead of qivinq our 50/100
effort so we WONT end up like the two homeless men i met todayy!

Also i was watchinq the gospel channel Yes imma christian lol
and i saw these children in africa the commercial and i came to tears
i wish i could send some [$$$] to them but alot of ppl say that them
poor kids dont recieve the [$$$] so im like shxt im not abt to waste
my hard earninq [$$$] on the qovernment smhh- they already takinq
away frm us.pshh the hell with that lol but anywayyss i thouqht you should
see the video its kinda sadd = God bless them. kinda made me think,....
America aint that badd after all lolx.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grnrx7JeDhg&feature=related