It is what it is..

I need to blog about this, just because the simple fact that i dont feel like bringing this convo up to the person that needs to hear it..And i dont really want to discuss it with family or friends. Back to the girl that im like high over hills with..-stares-..

Yeah well i kind of gave her a hint the other day that i liked her, or wanted to take it to another level. Me personally i think that its a good time we know eachother annnd we been talking for about 6-7mnths. And i caint help the fact that i like her and i think she knows it. Shes taking advantage huh? I want to say "FUCK THAT, ITS W.E." You know the whole faze niggas say to TRY to get over a girl or the block they put on from getting b l a s t e d !!! on. Wellll i think about her more than i used to, i care for her more just everything growing with ME idk about her because she NEVER exxplains how she feels. And i know how she feels, i know that she wants a MAN, someone to make her feel complete and i want her to tell me exactlyy WHY i cannot do that? i keep asking myself these "silly" type of questions when i should know, but is it really THAT hardd to see? Am i not attractive? smh i just dont know i really just want to move on but if i do, my heart wont be into a relationship completely because ill will still think of HER and i dont really want to..Never been in a situation like this, im used to girls comming to me nd us taking it from there...so i dont really know whats the BEST path to take on this situation i dont want to front and just blow it OFFFF. I just....awl w.e it is what it is....FOR NOW.

S p a c e

I need space from everyone, I need a break a time-out. Someone to say "let him do his own thing, leave him alone" is that really asking too much? I wanted my own vacation but it is nice to be with my family, i can ensure that when October comes im going to Canada by MYSELF! I know thats a long way from here but i love it there i was there for my x-mas break with fam and it rocked! But i feel that sometimes its way overdue. I have this intense pressure that comes along every so often and i have breakdowns. Mostly every guy do, they just dont admit it. smh. l e t g o.
Soooo, (blank stare) i had a girl to ask me to explain to her what type of girl i seek for. And i quickly responded a girl that reminds me of my MOTHER! Because if you think about your mom will never hurt you, she wont turn her back on you, she wont do you dirty, she says whats real, she loves you, shes intelligent. the whole nine so to me i want a girl like my mom..not that she has to act like a old lady but to have characteristics as she. And ive have YET seen the complete package, soo ill wait..I havent been watching T.V at all lately so i caint really update on shows, movies etcc. All ive been doing is hitting the gym 10X harder,running trynna get pumped before season starts again so i can be READY!! And spending quality time with fam and living in the studio all night lol. I want to try something new, with someone new! ohhhh TREY SONGZ ALBUM "READY" is getting closer! ayyyyyyyyy (dream voice) lol. Till next time...

Another Level!

Sooo! im kinda late on blogging but atleast im posting now! Ive decided to focus more on my MAN side, than the Cam'Ron everyone is used to. I think it just fits me better and its about time i switch up my shit. Well you probaly asking "so he was never a man or sum shit" nah not that ive been a man since my Jr year in highschool ive just decided to take more responsibilities instead of hiding from them and my problems.. Starting to lean more on my "love-life" im starting to really need that! and i believe i have the right person in my life that fills that gap but im not sure, ill bring that topic up to her when the time is right, i choose to leave her name anonymous because it might change in days of time. Every july 4th, i know its independence day but i use it as a CAM'RON STEPP YA GAME UP DAY! and everyone just celebrate it with me lol since i was lil i looked at it like that and everytime after the 5th i did greater things..So im in the process of talking to some people to helping me start my own studio, cuz thats the only thing i do besides playing basketball and chillin.. Its gonna take a min but its def gonna benifit me in the long run. Im starting back my dance sessions again i miss it, dancing free's my mind its something i feel from inside out nothing like music , dancing and sexx lol and also im starting acting classes in August im exxcited about that!! i always wanted to participate in acting but modeling always took that spot lol i guess cuz im NEVER really shy. w.e. But um i was on youtube as usual lol and i was looking at Omarion NO HOMO! but i look up to this nigga like, hes tiiight! to me and i was watching him make a beat and calling soulja boy on a beat-off lol sounds funny lmao but as in making beats and umm he should make beats more often TALENT! check it out... ohh nd did i mention i have his first name as my middle name? lol thats epic!

...Well Damnn!

Well i guess ill be blogging alot since this is the ONLY shit that is hearing me out. For some reason i keep having these mood swings, like im changing i doubt it tho. Yesterday was madd fun i chilled with my brothers and parents and basically talked to my homie bri all day, just sit on the phone nd clown with eachother and listen to her pick on my accent lol its good to have ppl like that who wont get madd nd shit like there your fkn parents, ppl like that are def hard to find nowadays. -rolls eyes- BUTT i truly adored It cuz i was having a ruff ass day . especially that night, i EXPLODEDDD!!! me and my family was battling it out like crazzy They want me to move back home and im like WTFFF! when i left we agreed that when i move to California this problem will never occur. I had to literally sit for a good hour with my mom and dad screaming in my ear, i almost broke down, i love cali and i dont really want to leave. since my Jr. yr in highschool i was planning to move to here for school and basketball puposes. I dont want to move back to ATL, def not BROOKLYN! it dont even fit me anymore, i think i was made to be just where im at. Im doing good in school, im happy, i have fun here everything, other than being back home and being distracted by my old friends and groupies shxt like that, the reason why i kinda bombed my senior yr in highschool. IDGAF what they say i caint move back tho i get homesick at times but the only way i see myself branching out is only ME making the choices i make and living in cali because im talking to people who could help my career be a success. Then my "lovelife" question popped up they think the only reason i dont want to move back is because i supposively have a girlfriend which i dont...yet =/ BUTT thats not the case, i dont even see the girl i like/love. nd it is by choice it isnt like we live 5 states apart. shiiit i question my own lovelife at times but i stay strong because i think im close in finding my potential wife, yess i use that word loosely cuz every time i call a girl that something always happends... anyways, they mentioned me moving with my sis because shes going to OHIO STATE!!! im proud of her but i dont want to go there like dah fuck if i wanted to be a fkn buckeye i would have went! then im like, well my sis do need some fam there since we dont have realatives in ohio. And i have fam in cali in the bay area and long beach etcc so it isnt hard for me but FUCKK THAT! lol she better come here..We all know that cali is like completely broke now and my parents are looking at that, but the recession dosent even effect me soo that can 'X' that shxt out cuz it dosent even make sense..the whole US Is in crisis..blahh.I decided to take a nice 4mnth break in modeling which is gonna blow out a extraa $350 income every two weeks, but i needed it i was starting to get to the point where i was there physically but not mentally, nd i def dont wanna fall out of love with modeling thats a NO-GOOO! Im still thinking of UCLA! im caught up between what i want && what i need. I dont want any help i want to be able to fix all these problems out as a MAN should..
in the process im going to get this badd bxtchh!!!!

eeeYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!

2010 Dodge, Camaro