PITTY THE FOOL !

Damn ive been MIA for a longass time. And i apoligize bloggers. Just busy, and been through alot hopefully ill be able to post everything and explain why. Sooo if your not following me on twitter (the new addiction 17+) http://twitter.com/CamRon_Cabrera ! You might have been noticing some strange behavior been outlandish and NOT ME. However ..it is. Dont let my looks fool you, ive been going through some tough things. And ive had people who been yelling at me and "caring" and i appreciate everything everyone is doing for me. But its MY situation and I have to FIX everything myself, and i know im the type to learn things the hard way. And i can divulge that it is true, and i dont complain for that. I really think i learn better that way. Call me crazy . but i just dont like things easy execpt LIFE! and thats NEVER easy. Ive had everyone i knew turn on me in the matter of 3 weeks. And it was unquestionably hard. Ive came to thougts ive never pondered about in my life, i was afraid i was lonely i was annoyed and hurt and most of all things..betrayed. Felt lied to felt that nobody gave a fuck about what i had to say less knowing what i had left to prove. And i bow to all the people who had to Tolerate with my wild behavior and hurtful words. It was from my heart but by all means the inteniton was JUST for them to feel where im comming from. Had long talks with all the loves in my life and everyone had a story to tell..it did made me feel that im NOT the only ONE who goes through a situation like that. But in the back of my head its like ..wthell did i do to deserve it ? made me hate myself nd others, i had to fall down on my knees and pray for GOD to open my heart and remove the situation ..atleast fasssstfowardd! but every night / morning the situation was still slapped in my face. I know i have flaws about my life..And i know everyone is not gonna agree on everything i do ..and thats coool. I dont want nor expect it. But i hate being judged from that..Alot of girls would NOT talk to me at all because they say im a PRETTYBOY! which is cool. but when you start saying how were no good blah blah blah then theres a problem. I love the way i am, and you have to respect that. I mean i do club and party sporadically and im young wthfuck you exxpect? all the adults i know of my family party'd , had sex the usual as young adults do. Just dosent make sense why people have to go 10X harder on my life i know right from wrong and im almost 20 years old i think i have common sense to do the RIGHT thing and stay far from left. Ive decided to take a 4month break from modeling..AGAIN! its getting to be out of hand the traveling, requirements , the business men the whole shabang. I dont wanna fall out of love with modeling so i try to take as many breaks indispensable and focus more on studying and enjoying life since its going by soo fassssst. Yall remember my EX ? well um , shes doing just fine..i talked to her 2 days ago and shes on the rise to fame and success . even tho i think shes already there, she was just in a new video, i forgot the rapper name btw . and we def had a long talk and everything that she was saying made sense. She arranged for me to come fly to New Jersey to come see her on her video / promo shoot. And im supportive of her and shes like a super close friend to me now , viewed as a sister. But since im on lockDOWN. here in the "A" its pretty impossible, and now i know shes gonna be on my head cus she thinks imma flake out on her..so not the case. So i gotta deal with her now , on top of trying to get my future "gf" to see that i like her very much and im not like other dudes etc. yall know the whole thing lol. Otherwise life is good, and so am i . :)